LETTERS HOME--11 THROUGH 20


Letter #11
12 Nov 68 Hi everybody, Ain't been able to write because we've been out in the field. I should be in the rear in about 2 more days. I am safe and sound so don't worry. I've gotten all the mail ya sent and package. Thanks. Got to go. Love, Paul PS Call Sharon *******************************************************************

Looking back:
My father begged to hear from me, if only it was to know I was still alive. Nine days had passed since I had written last. This was one of those letters I scribbled to claim my existence.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #12
13 Nov 68 Hi everyone, I hope you ain't been worrying why you haven't heard from me, but when you are out in the field they don't pick up the mail too often. I've received your mail up to the 3rd or 4th of Nov. I received the package! It was great!! Thanks a lot!!! It lasted me a good three days. That ain't too bad. For the last 9 days we've been sitting on the top of Hill #85. We have not been in any combat at all. That's very surprising. We've got 6 mortar tubes and for the last 9 days they have shot close to 1,800 rounds. That's really a lot. I've been in the best of health except for a few mosquito bites and a burnt finger (I had a book of matches go off in my hand). Well got to go for now. Remember, I can't always write when I'm out in the bush. Take it easy & God bless ya. Love, Paul PS. Call Sharon as I don't have time to write her today. I'm sorry. ********************************************************************
Looking back:
Hill 85... A sandbag-fortified compound out along Liberty Road. This compound overlooked a village known as Duc Duc. Beyond Duc Duc was the An Hoa combat base. Actually, there was a blue bus that traveled along Liberty Road that had painted on the side "DaNang-Duc Duc." The mortars were 4.2's (four deuces). They fired all damn night. Also near this Hill 85 was a German hospital that medically treated the Vietnamese-- South, VC, and NVA. Some of the Germans who worked in this hospital were taken POW while I was in country. There is a book about it. I believe it is called, "We Only Came To Help."
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #13
17 Nov 68 Hi everyone & Tiger Lil!!! Well as you can see I can't write as often as I was because things in Vietnam are starting to grow bitter. We have moved down from the mountain into a fortified position about a mile from An Hoa. There are 12 Marines and 10 ARVN (Army of the Republic of Vietnam). They ain't worth their weight in shit. Yesterday when we came under fire they were all ready to run. One did but he's no longer with us. Right now there are massive air strikes going on about 1,000 meters from our compound. They are pretty cool to watch. Today we have to rebuild a bunker which got hit the night before we came here. Lima company lost 3 men on the direct hit. Well got to go but I had to write to tell ya I'm in good health and really moving good. Love, Paul ********************************************************************
Looking back:
Again, Tiger Lil was the family cat...As for this fortified position, it was a CAP unit in or near Duc Duc. Often the platoon I was in would spend the night at this CAP unit, usually when the word had been passed that the VC were going to "hit." As for rebuilding the bunker and the loss of Marines the night before...I was most likely frightened out of my mind, yet knew no other way of saying it, except to mention it in a letter to home. Must have scared the shit out of my parents. As for the ARVN (or I think they were PFs [popular forces]), they were just so noisy at night and gave away their positions when they lit their cigarettes in the dark. I wonder if it was on purpose. I can still remember this particular air strike. I can hear my squad leader complaining that he couldn't hear AFVN-Monkee Mountain. The scream of the jets was drowning out his country (shit kick'n) music.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #14
20 Nov 68 Dear everybody!!! I'm out on road security today and was also on it the last two days. We go back to our compound tomorrow. Things have started to get pretty hot around here. They (the VC) have rocketed and mortared An Hoa 3 nights in a row and are expected to hit again tonight. I'm sure glad I'm not in there now. I don't know when we are going back there. As for on the road, we have been fired at on and off for the last two days; but they are pretty bad shots. I received the package you sent me. It was great. The food is all gone but I'm still reading the books. Oh, about the drum sticks--I'm gonna practice on ground, floor, walls, and etc. so when I come home I'll know some new beats and will be pretty good. The weather has been pretty hot (85), but it rains off and on. At night it does cool off to about 60. That is pretty cold over here. I've received letters from you, Bobby, Paul D., and Sharon. I also received one from a Charles Bently on Beach Street. I guess his class in school got my address and decided to write me. Do you know him or how he got my address? I wrote him back anyway. The whole Fifth Marines have gone on an operation except for us. That's pretty decent. We played cards last night, and I won $30. That sure helps out. Well got to go because it has taken the last half hour to write this page because of off and on rain. Love ya all, Paul PS. Thanks for the package and Thanksgiving Cards. You too, Cheryl. Happy Thanksgiving. ************************************************************************
Looking back:
Road security... Two men to a hole with the holes several hundred yards apart, stretched all the way from An Hoa to halfway to Liberty Bridge. Checked the Vietnamese for ID Cards as they traveled along Liberty Road. Must have irked them to have someone check their ID every several hundred yards. We paid for it. They sniped all day at us, but because no one got hit, I wrote home to say how bad a shot they were; yet, two friends of mine, who I had gone through ITR with, would die during Operation Meade River-- the operation the entire 5th Marines except for Mike company, would go out on. I was still new in country; so when Mike Company didn't get to go out on the operation (we were held back in reserve and to pull road security), I thought I was missing out on something exciting. The rocketing and mortaring of An Hoa... Sometimes it wasn't bad being a grunt. Easier to hide a small target like your own ass, than say, an airstrip. Big targets, big incoming; little targets, small incoming (but there were always the exceptions--take nothing for granted). An Hoa would attract a lot of incoming. Many nights I was glad not to be there in An Hoa for that reason. Anytime I got a letter from a class (strangers to me), I always wrote back. Most of the time, I used to write that I wished I had stayed in school and urged them to stay in school. School back in the world sure beat hell out of being in Vietnam.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #15
22 Nov 68 Hi everyone!!! How's good ole Quincy? It's probably still the same. Right now we are in the middle of a typhoon. It's probably gonna be like a good, ole fashion hurricane. A typhoon has a lot more rain than a hurricane, and it floods all the rice paddies making it look like one big huge lake. We should be safe from the winds because we are back up in the heavy bunkers of the compound. It seems that the VC are not gonna wait for Tet to make a big offensive as they tried to take over the compound about 700 yards away. After they failed, they turned around and hit us. We were up all night. Then this morning we moved into the village where the fire was coming from. We found a good amount of innocent villagers dead. Let me tell ya, dead bodies stink. There were families crying all over the place because their relatives were dead. It was gross; but as you say, "If you sleep with dogs, ya gonna wake up with fleas." I don't know whether any VC were killed. I received a letter from Mrs. DeLuca today. She was wishing me good luck. I also received a package from Sharon. I went swimming today down the river. It was the first time I've got washed in about two weeks. I can't believe Marsha got her learner's permit. When she gets her license and I get home, there will probably be a big fight over who is gonna use the car. I'll be sending home $170 a little after the 1st. I'm pretty sure you know what I want done with it for Christmas. Well got to go for now but I'll write when I can. Love, Paul **************************************************************
Looking back:
The compound... Today in my mind, the compound seems so surrealistic. It seemed like a castle made of green-gray, woven-plastic, red-laterite filled sandbags. From outside, the walls seemed to be without any openings; but there were openings, slits for us to see out. There was a moat at least eight feet deep all around the compound. There was only one wooden plank that went over the moat, and that plank was lifted up every night.... We use to get intel saying that we would or could expect to get hit on this or that night. I used to envision hundreds upon hundreds of VC coming at us and having them go down into the moat, and us just rolling grenades down upon them. The intel was never ending and never correct. Night after night after night, we stayed awake frightened, hoping that "Puff" dropping the flares, didn't go home until sunrise. What a horrible place Vietnam was in complete darkness. "If you sleep with dogs, ya gonna wake up with fleas."... This was one of my father's favorite sayings. I must have thought it applied to what I saw that morning in the village of Duc Duc. The night before, we saw from the compound in Duc Duc, all sorts of movement through our starlight scope. Again, more surrealism. Just movement for the longest time; then, in time, explosions down in Duc Duc. Then green and purple and red tracers crisscrossed the sky. Then more explosions. At first, up in the compound, we were only catching stray rounds and ricochets--weird whizzing sounds. Then, from An Hoa, a tank positioned on the defensive line opened up fire on Duc Duc. Illumination floated down upon Duc Duc. I was lying low on, top of a bunker, watching this show--all the colors, and listening to the sounds, when all of a sudden, the sounds above our heads changed from the whizzing sounds of the ricochets and strays to AK fire directed right at us. We all scrambled for cover. It was frightening to have to pick your head up and look out the small slits to see if anyone was coming at us. Somehow, I pushed down the fear of taking a round in the face and kept my eyes opened. Somehow, the sun came up in the morning. Duc Duc was like nothing I had ever seen in the movies. And yet, life went on back at home which was drifting further and further away (yet I held on to that place in my mind for dear life.) (Mrs. DeLuca lived next door to my parents...) Alligator Lake... The river really was a lake we called Alligator Lake. One day while swimming in Alligator Lake, I said to Brother Bell from NYC, "I see now why they call this lake Alligator Lake." And he said, "What you talking about?" And I said, "Well, I just saw a gator slip into the water from over there," as I pointed towards a distant bank. Brother Bell couldn't get out of that water fast enough. He called me every name in the book. There were no alligators in Alligator Lake; yet, I don't know why we called the lake what we did.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #16
27 Nov 68 Hi everybody!!! Received a letter from ya written on the 20th. I'm sorry I haven't written lately but I just ain't had a chance. If you keep an eye on the papers you will see what is going on around An Hoa. I'm starting to get scared as we are really starting to get hit heavy. I've seen a lot of guys get shot in the last few days. The night I received Barbara's package was the worst night. I'm in good health except for sore feet. Well got to go as now, you don't dare stay in one place too long. Love, Paul PS Call Sharon because I ain't got time to write. PPS Don't worry ******************************************************************
Looking back:
"... I'm starting to get scared as we are really starting to get hit heavy. I've seen a lot of guys get shot in the last few days. The night I received Barbara's package was the worst night..." Don't know where I was really coming from. I hadn't seen any guys get shot. Not yet. I think it was more, I had HEARD STORIES about guys getting shot. And these stories developed into pictures inside my head; and before long, I not only visualized these stories but placed myself in the middle of them. The truth was that all sorts of stories were coming back to us guys of Mike Co. about the fighting taking place on Operation Meade River (the operation Mike Co didn't go on.) All sorts of guys were getting hit. Yes, "getting hit," became the term heard all day. "Getting hit" and "Hitting the shit." I would hear, in one of these stories, about a guy I went through ITR with, (PFC Burke), of how he stuck his head up over a rice paddy to see what was going on and got "his ass killed." I could see him in my mind, see him in ITR and Pendleton, see him laughing in the mess hall or barracks...and now he was dead. And yet, to survive, I was learning not to hold onto any feelings of grief, sorrow, or fear for too long. (I can see I was trying to tell my parents what was going on but couldn't find the way or the words.) ...I got many packages from my family while in Vietnam, including some from my aunt Barbara. ...Seems I was always having my mother call my girlfriend, Sharon, because I didn't have time to write her.
++ Remembering PFC Walter L. Burke , Born 6/30/50 -- KIA 11/22/68 ++ ++(Touch his name at Panel 38W -- Line 33.)++
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #17
28 Nov 68 Hi everybody, Happy Thanksgiving. I ain't got too much time. I wrote you and Barbara yesterday, but the chopper got shot down; so you might not receive the letter. I'm safe and sound; well, sound, and I miss ya all. I'm sending $175 on the 1st. Call Barbara and tell her I'll try and write again. Love, Paul PS Sorry it's short, but!!! *****************************************************************
Looking back:
Thanksgiving Day was spent along Liberty Road. I was on road security in two man holes. It rained that day. I forget who the other Marine was who I was with, but I remember we had built a poncho hooch to try and stay dry. We didn't bother the Vietnamese moving along the road that day. In the afternoon, me and the other Marine were huddled together inside the hooch. We weren't really doing a good job of keeping watch or listening. My platoon sergeant and Doc sneaked up on our position, stood outside the hooch, and opened up with their weapons, firing rounds into the air. I remember the other Marine and I scrambling for our weapons. My heart never beat so hard. I thought I was a dead duck. I thought the VC had opened up on us. When I saw that it was my platoon sergeant and Doc, I grew angry. I asked what they were doing, and they said that they had come out to give those of us on road security, some hot turkey. But after the platoon sergeant said this, he finished by saying, "But you two birds aren't getting any. In fact, Doc and I should have killed you." And off the two of them went with the hot turkey leaving us hungry. My platoon sergeant was Sergeant Thompson, one of the most hard-core Marines I had ever met. He had already won a bronze star before I had arrived in country for charging a bunker and killing all sorts of VC by himself. Yes, in Mike Company he was some sort of a hero. As for the chopper getting shot down...didn't see it happen, only heard about it.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #18
29 Nov 68 Hi everyone, Having a wonderful time. Wish you were here. The temperature is real cool (ha). Makes it sound like a vacation. At the time it is, as we are back in the compound. I'm gonna ask you to send me something, and I don't want ya to be surprised as I'm pretty well grown-up now. You've got to be over here. Could you send me a 5th of Vodka? Don't worry; they don't care if you get stuff like that through the mail. Everybody is gonna have a bottle for Christmas, as we are gonna be in An Hoa. I'd be happy if you did; and don't worry, I wouldn't drink it all in one night. Well got to go for now because we are using candles to write, and they have got to go out because of snipers. Love, Paul PS. Consider my proposition ******************************************************************
Looking back:
Life is relative... After having been out in the bush, huddled under my green rubber poncho, having nothing to hide behind except for the darkness between illumination floating to earth suspended beneath parachutes, the safety of the compound was something to shout about. Yes, the compound may have seemed like a place in hell when I stepped foot in it for the first time; but not now. Now it was like heaven--heavy-duty bunkers and a roof over my head. "...as I'm pretty well grown-up now..." Not grown-up, but older as in aged. No, maybe not even that. I think maybe the word I should have used was, "worn." "...I'd be happy if you did; and don't worry, I wouldn't drink it all in one night..." Who was shitting who? I would have drank the entire bottle in one swig. (My father had some sense about him. He never sent the bottle... And the hope of being in An Hoa for Christmas--it never happened. Christmas would be spent up in the mountains.)
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #19
2 Dec 68 Hi everybody, It's been a few days since I've written. I've received your mail up to the 25th and also received a package from ma & grampa. Will you please thank them for me as I probably won't have time. In one of your last letters you wanted to know more about the country. Well, scenery wise, the country is beautiful, except for the barbwire and bunkers spread out all over the countryside. The people themselves are filthy and make me sick. You learn not to trust them; and if you can find any reason to shoot them, you do. I've been shot at by too many innocent looking people to have any mercy. They learn to fire a rifle even before they walk. I've enclosed an article about the operation where they surrounded those 1,000 VC. Fortunately, Mike company was the only company in the 5th Marines not to go; but these pictures will give you an idea what I look like, combat wise, and a little idea what a village looks like and all that stuff. Common sense says that if all the companies are out except for us and the VC know this, they will hit us hard; and let me tell ya, they have. We haven't gone a night without getting hit. If it ain't mortars, it's rockets. If it ain't either of them, it's sniper fire or an assault. When I die, I've got to go to heaven because I've been through hell. It doesn't bother you at all killing these people cause they are pure scum and sneaky; and also if you don't kill them first, they will get you. But there is no worry cause I've been spraying the walls, deck, and overhead pretty good. Well, got to go for now; and don't worry cause I've got my stuff together. Hope you like the pictures. Love, Paul *********************************************************************
Looking back:
I didn't get to see the letters that I had written to my family for more than 16 years. When my father did give them to me, I found them to be very disturbing, especially this one. Did I really have such an opinion of the Vietnamese while I was there? Hard to admit it, but I probably did. There was so much fear, anger, and frustration in being in Vietnam. I was constantly tired. Never got a whole nights sleep. On watch for a few hours, then a few hours of sleep (curled in a ball, wrapped in a poncho liner, lying on top of my green rubber poncho, laid on the wet ground), then another watch, then a little more sleep, then patrol all day. And it rained all the time, and I stayed constantly soaked. And there was even this frustration inside me because Mike Co. hadn't gone on Operation Meade River. Despite the fact I was hearing stories about Marines being killed on this operation, I yearned to be there, to be a part of those who had surrounded the 1,000 VC...I was still a FNG, yet I was slowly growing angry. About this time, I heard that another friend of mine, who I had gone through ITR with, was killed during Operation Meade River.
++ Remembering PFC Douglas L. Warner, Born 4/19/50 -- KIA 11/29/68++ ++(Touch his name at Panel 37W - Line 8)++
I don't think that the concept of being dead had sunk into my thick skull back during the time I first heard about Warner's death. I was still too young. Guess USMC had me thinking their way.
Paul O'Connell 1996


Letter #20
7 Dec 68 Hi everybody!!! I haven't had much time to write in the last few days. Things have been busy but today is a real nice, cool day, about 70. It hasn't rained in about two or three days which is great. In the last two days, I've received packages from John and Ruth, Prudential, and a fruit cake from the City of Quincy. Plus, I received my first issue of the Quincy Sun. I don't think I'll have time to write John and Ruth, so you can thank them for me. The package from Prudential had this pen in it and two good books, plus candy. I read both books on watch in the last two nights. The books were John Steinbeck's "Of Mice & Men" and the other, the movie script of "Bonnie & Clyde." Tommy must be off probation by now. I hope he stays out of trouble or he will end up in the Marines and over here, too... Hey Tom, the guys get a big kick out of your drawings and letters as we compare letters from our little brothers. So keep up the good work. Marsha, so I heard you're really starting to become the biggest thing since Marilyn Monroe. How's school and work? Be good and maybe when I get home and buy my new Corvette, I'll let you drive it. Remember, it's going to be stick so you better learn to drive on a standard car, too. Cheryl, sorry I haven't written to you lately; but I've heard from Bobby a few times, and I owe him a letter so I'll write that today. It's a shame you've got to give up your apartment. It was beautiful. How's the Mustang running? Well, everybody, got to start going. I tried to write everybody a little bit. Oh, I almost forgot Tiger Lil. Hey Tige, when I get home I'm gonna bring ya a big petunia and a few marigolds, so take it easy, Putty Cat!!! Well got to go. I've been receiving your mail regularly. Love ya all, Paul PS. Quincy over North USMC over VC **************************************************************
Looking back:
"Quincy over North, USMC over VC"... In the city I was from, there were two high schools--Quincy High and North Quincy High. They played each other in football on Thanksgiving Day. My father must have told me that Quincy had beet North Quincy. I was happy because I had gone to Quincy High. I must have also been happy back then in Vietnam thinking that the Marines were beating the VC... My sister, Cheryl, worked for Prudential Life. They sent me a package. I guess not everyone back in the world had forgotten about those in Vietnam... The Quincy Sun was a new local newspaper that is still in business. I use to look forward to reading the Quincy Sun... My brother Tommy had gotten into some trouble at home. I forget exactly what it was (because there were so many cases of trouble in his life), but I can see how I looked at being in Vietnam. I figured if someone got in trouble back at home, then they, too, just like me, would end up in Vietnam...
Paul O'Connell 1996


Copyright © 1996 By Paul O'Connell, All Rights Reserved

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