Well it's strange to be home alone for so long, Wife went to Calf her mother was in the hospital, she made it home and is ok. The wife is still out there, her daugher is buying a house and she wants to help her with the fixing up part (curtins and stuff). She has not got to spend christmas with her family or her daught in a long time, so I understand were she is at.
Even though I have one daughter here close by and a few frinds here, I still feel like things are closing in on me don't know why just that they are. I have been having a ruff time not sleeping and having a hard time controling my feeling's, just feel like I have to much time to think about things that I had no control over then or now. I just feel like I am alone and everthing is getting smaller around me you know, the walls are starting to fall and all the old feelings are rushing in, I do have a appointment with my doctor tomorrow, will go see what happens. I have a perty good doc takes good care of me and helps to keep me stright got some work for tomorrow.
I hate feeling this way it just having to much time alone, this is just a hard time of year and I am just feeling down. I have got to get back to rembering what is important, I have a good wife and good daughers who would do anything to help. It doesn't help I lost my father a WWII vet last year then my 2 of my faters brothers have also passed this year just to much death close to home bring old feelings to the front, I normaly keep things in check but getting hard to do been crying anything can set me off it seams and email or a song, even stupid stuff on tv.
I have rattled on long enough got to pull my self together.
Peace to all